


Not Quite Perfect

by hannahmerp88



Category: Romance - Fandom, arranged marriage - Fandom, my own story
Genre: F/M, None - Freeform, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-01 15:09:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 69
Words: 18,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16286885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahmerp88/pseuds/hannahmerp88
Summary: Lady Natalia Zima is arranged to marry another Lord. After fighting with her mother, she goes to live with the family before the marriage. When Natalia and Lord James Buchanan meet, things don't go well and the pair find themselves constantly butting heads. Lady Buchanan decides that the two need a short vacation and Natalia and James go to Paris. Can the two work out their differences and find love? My first fic, comments and critiques are welcome.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please Comment and Critique my work!! Thank you so much for reading!! <3 <3

I wandered into the garden, a sketchbook and pencils tucked underneath my arm. I followed the path as it snaked through, leaving it only to find one of my favorite spots. I slipped my shoes off and felt the soft manicured grass under my toes. I made my way to the bench under the willow tree and brushed the leaves and dirt off. I leaned my head against the tree and looked up through the thick canopy of leaves arranged above my head. A small gust of wind blowing leaves and let them fall to the ground. I began to sketch, the lead of my pencil floating above the page. Images of a blossoming tree coming into focus on the page. I stuck my tongue out a bit in concentration, adding the minute details to the pedals of falling flowers. It wasn’t long before a voice rang out across the lawn.  


“Natalia!” My mother called. I glanced up from the page and closed the book, leaving my pencil on top. I stood up,  


“Coming Mother!” I shouted back. I ran towards the entrance to the garden before running back, realizing that I’d left my shoes by the bench. I ran back and slipped them on before running into the house.  


I slowed down when I entered the parlor, trying to look refined in front of my mother. My mother was sitting on the small couch, her graying hair pulled up in a tight bun that made her face look stretched. She spoke in a cool tone, almost as if she were standing on cracking ice. Taking her time to think about how to phrase what she was going to say.  


“An offer has been made.” She said, her eyes giving me a once over as she spoke. I sat down on the chair across from her.  


“What kind of offer.” I asked, letting out a small laugh.  


“One we won’t be refusing.” She answered. I leaned back, confused at the riddles my mother seemed to think were adequate answers.  


“Stop beating around the bush,” I began, “and tell me.” She sat up straighter and looked over at me, a look of almost pity in her eyes that was quickly replaced.  


“An offer for your hand.” She whispered. The words sounded like gunshots in my head and I stood up.  


“No. No, no, no, no, no, no.” I protested. “You said, that once we moved, you wouldn’t give me away.” She gulped.  


“Natalia. This family is offering everything that we’d ever dreamed of.” She started. “They’ll be able to protect you, and offer you any comfort you can dream of.” My facade started to crumble, and when I spoke, my voice sounds strained.  


“You promised.” I stammered. “You promised me. I have everything that I want right here.” My mother stood and faced me.  


“I’m giving you everything I wanted for myself.” I flung my hands in the air exasperated. She was going to give me away to some other family. Someone I’d never met or seen before.  


“I’m not you, Mother. I don’t want this.” I insisted. My mother looked at me in the eyes before speaking.  


“The decision is final. The family will be here to make arrangements tomorrow.” She said, finality in her voice.  


“How could you.” I whimpered, before tearing off to my room.  


I sat on my bed for the longest time, staring at the blooming wallpaper and thinking about all I had lost. They were throwing me away. As the evening progressed, I refused to leave my room. Trays with dinner arrived and were left untouched. All I could think about was what lied ahead in a carriage several miles away.


	2. Acquaintances

James' POV 

It wasn’t a long ways to get to her house but the whole way the carriage was tense. My Father and Mother sitting across from me, giving me looks of encouragement. Lush plots of land passed by, soon joined by rolling estates. We pulled into the front way of the Zima Estate, tall trees guarding the large archway leading to the door. The door swung open as our carriage pulled up and a butler came out. We sat in the carriage until he had made it to the door, which he swung open with a bow.  


“Welcome to the Zima Estate, Lord Buchanan.” He said in a nasally voice, addressing Father. My father exited first, helping my mother out next who gazed around at the estate in all its glory. I left last, the large Zima house looming in front of us. The butler closed the door and carriage was pulled off to the side. He then began to climb the stairs to the door, where he then informed us that the family was waiting for us in the parlor.  


The parlor was a large room, with lush furniture and upholstery. Lord and Lady Zima were sitting on the couch facing away from us and when we entered, they stood, beaming at us. Their daughter was sitting on the couch still, facing away from us. She stood up, after a second and looked over at me. Some of the air in my lungs was swept out, her cool grey eyes boring into mine. Her face was immediately swept up into a smile, one that didn’t meet her eyes. Her mother spoke first.  


“I’m so glad to meet your acquaintance, Lord Buchanan.” She said. My father bowed his head towards her before he spoke.  


“And I you.” He said, he gestured over to mother. “This is my wife Elizabeth.” Mother curtseyed and took Lady Zima’s hands in her own. Father gestured towards me, “and my son, James.” I stepped forward and bowed towards the family. Her father gave me an approving once over and her mother smiled at me. Their daughter remained impassive. Her mother glanced over at her daughter and plastered a smile on her face.  


“Natalia, why don’t you show James the gardens and get acquainted?” She asked, leading my parents through the doorway and into whatever room laid beyond. Natalia turned around, her dark skirt spinning around her ankles.  


“This way.” She said, before going out the archway and leading me to the gardens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and critique my work!! <3 <3
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


	3. This may be a Mistake

Natalia's POV

It was annoying that he was kind of handsome. I’d remained impassive through the meeting, keeping in all my bottled emotion buried. James followed me out the cast back doors and into the gardens. The clouds look heavy, casting odd shadows against the hedges and bushes. I led him to the large maze in the yard, the one that was infamous for the number of people that had gotten lost in it. I smiled and turned to him, 

“Want to do the maze?” I asked. A cheesy grin plastered on my face. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. 

“Why not.” He said, watching me. I didn’t like how he kept studying me. I turned around and rolled my eyes, letting out a soft sigh. “Hey,” He said, matching his pace to mine. “I don’t like this anymore than you do.” I didn’t respond until we were already in the maze. 

“Well then, since it’s your family, why not tell them that it’s off.” I said, turning right and making my way further into the maze. “Tell them that I’m horribly unladylike.” James jogged a little to catch up with me. 

“I can’t tell them that.” He said. 

“Why not?” 

“I’d be lying.” I looked at him, giving him the once over before saying what was on my tongue. 

“Not like you’ve never done that before.” I said, turning around to continue through the maze. James stood there for a second, before running forward and grabbing my wrist. He held it up and glared at me. 

“You don’t know me.” He said. I jerked my hand away. 

“Don’t touch me.” I scolded. He looked at me with fire in his eyes that I didn’t understand. We walked further into the maze. “This is stupid.” I muttered under my breath. 

“What?” James said, looking at me incredulously. 

“Nothing.” I said. 

“Did you call this stupid?” 

“Maybe.” I responded, a smirk on my face. 

“This wasn’t my idea, this isn’t my fault.” He said, looking at like he wanted me to tell him something. 

“That’s right sweetie, this is just a big mistake.” I said, raising the pitch of my voice like I was talking to a child. 

“This is a mistake. I don’t know why anyone would want to court someone so rude and sarcastic.” He shot back. 

“Well honey, it seems the only suitors interested in me are the snotty rich ones.” I snarled. 

“How dare you…” He began before I cut him off. 

“No! How dare you intrude my life, while your here, go ahead and ruin it.” I snapped. I stormed forward and went through an arch in hedge, tucked where James couldn’t see it.


	4. Quite the Talent

James' POV 

She left me in the middle of a giant hedge maze. One moment we were arguing, the next she’d rounded a corner and disappeared. I let out a sigh and continued through the maze, sitting down on a bench, lost. Eventually I heard a voice call out my name and I shouted “Here!”. A weathered looking servant rounded a corner, she looked relieved to have found me.  


“Thank goodness I found you Sir.” She said. “Many suitors have gotten hopelessly lost in this maze.”  


“How many?” I asked, wondering how many had actually come to court Lady Natalia.  


“Just about all of them.” She said, shaking her head. She had a pad of paper and a couple of pencils under her arm. I began to follow the servant before asking about them.  


“Do you draw?” I inquired. The servant shook her head.  


“No. I never quite had the talent for it. Though my Lady has quite the knack for it.”  


"Lady Natalia?” I asked, surprised.  


“Yes.” She replied.  


“May I see?” I asked, holding my hand out to receive the pad of paper. She paused and gave me a questioning look before handing me the pad. She continued down the path of the maze and I followed while examining the sketched in the book. I couldn’t help but be amazed at the sketches that filled the book. Sketches of dancers flitted across the pages. The most recent drawing being one of a flowering tree, soft petals falling to the ground. I handed the pad back to the servant and a minute later we reached the exit to the maze.  


“Lady Natalia has quite a talent.” I commented.  


“Indeed. She has many.” She added, before bowing and leaving. I made my way back to the house were the butler told me that the family was having tea in the pavillion.


	5. Wonderful.

Natalia's POV 

I sat as respectfully as I could, forcing myself to not look as pleased as I was. James was lost in the maze, hopefully he’d stay that way. Mother invited me to have tea with her and Lady Buchanan and I politely accepted. My Father and Lord Buchanan were off doing something else. I sipped a little bit of my tea and nibbled on one of the cakes. I wiped some crumbs that had fallen onto my blouse off onto the ground. Footsteps approached and James entered the pavilion, his face looking a bit flustered. I tried to not laugh when I saw him, he gave me a stern glance before bowing to us. 

“Sorry I’m late Mother.” He said. “I got a bit, turned around.” His mother laughed and beckoned him to join us. 

“Join us if you will.” She said, her voice light. James shook his head and back up a step. 

“I’d like to clean up a little.” He said. She laughed again. 

“You do look a little frazzled. Looks like you’re enjoying yourself.” She said, then winked at me. I choked a little on the bit of pastry in my mouth, the desire to vomit rising in my throat. I swallowed and gave her a smile that I hoped looked genuine. My mother waved a servant over. 

“I can have someone show you to the washroom. After than you and Natalia can spend some time planning for dinner tomorrow.” She said. 

“Dinner?” I asked. She nodded. 

“A celebration dinner of course.” She said. Bile rose through my throat and I struggled to swallow it back down. 

“Wonderful.” I said. My mother clapped her hands, 

“Your new dress is coming in too!” She said, excited for the both of us. I smiled and glared down into my cup as I finished off what little drink was even left in it. James left, following the servant into the house. After a few minutes of chatter I excused myself from the pavilion and made my way back inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and critique!! <3 <3


	6. None of your Business

James' POV 

After using the washroom, a servant showed by to the room that I’d be staying in overnight. A small case my mother had packed with an extra suit laid inside, a dress suit hanging in the closet. I slipped into a new-crisp shirt and pulled my jacket back on. I exited the room and made my way back to the parlor where I rang for another servant. A young woman ran to the room, a bundle of cloth in her arms. 

“Where is my mother?” I asked her. She shifted the cloth in her hands. 

“Out in the garden with Lady Zima.” She answered. 

“And Lady Natalia?” I wondered aloud. She gave me a queer look. 

“I believe I saw here down near the lounge or the library.” She answered, she shifted her weight again, struggling to keep all the sheets in her arms. “I wish I could show you the way but I’m quiet occupied at the moment.” As if to prove her point a sheet fell to the floor. I reached down and picked it up, handing it back to her. 

“That’s all right, can you point me in the right direction?” I asked. 

“East Wing.” She replied, before bustling off to take care of the sheets. I made my way down the corridor and turned onto the East Wing. It looked significantly more abandoned than the other halls. Dust could be seen beginning to collect on tables holding family antiques. I peered through into the room on the left, which I assumed was the library. Small shelves covered the walls, the books looking equally as neglected as the tables. I made my way down the hall, peering into room after room, most filled with furniture covered with sheets. In the middle of the hallway, a room emitted a soft glow. I stood in the doorway and looked at the quaint little room. Natalia was curled up in a chair near the window, her legs tucked underneath her. Her long black skirt was draped over the chair, she held a book in her hand and didn’t look up when I entered. 

“You can leave it on that table over there.” She said, pointing to a table to her right, not looking up from the page. I gave her a weird look before responding. 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have anything for you.” I said. She was immediately ripped from her book. 

“Oh. You.” She said, the startled look fading away. 

“Yes, me. The man you left in a giant hedge maze.” I retorted. 

“You should have stayed lost.” She shot back, turning back to her book, ignoring my presence completely. I walked around the back of her chair and leaned on the back, reading the book over her shoulder. 

“What are you reading?” I asked. She looked up at me and rolled her eyes. 

“None of your business.” She grumbled. I peered closer, my head meer inches from her own. The door swung open again, and a servant entered. We froze and I realized how close we were. I stood up straight and backed up, my neck beginning to heat up. “Set it…. Set it over there.” She said, pointing to the same table as before. The maid glanced from her to me several times before setting a tray with a steaming cup on the table. She exited, the door clicking shut behind her.


	7. I'll Join You.

Natalia's POV 

When the maid left, I got up and sat in another chair. The chair was closer to my cocoa, and farther from James, which was pretty much a win-win. I grabbed the cup in my hands and blew into it, trying to dispel the steam and the heat in my cheeks. I sipped a bit of the chocolate and refused to make eye contact. He reached forward and picked my book off the chair where I left it, keeping the page but flipping it to read the cover. He slipped the small piece of paper I was using as a bookmark into the page I was on. He then flipped to the front page of the book and began to read it. I continued to sip my hot chocolate. Getting feelings that he wasn’t reading, but watching me. I finished the chocolate and set the mug down on the empty tray, wiping my face with a napkin the maid left. Soon after, the dinner chime rang and I rose, making my way to the Dining Hall. All the while trying to ignore James’ presence behind me. We didn’t speak all through dinner, my Mother and Lady Buchanan did most of the talking anyways. After Dinner, the maids and servants came to clear the plates away. I began to stand up to leave but my mother waved me to sit down again. 

“You haven’t planned for the dinner.” She said. I sat down with a huff, and another set of maids brought in samples. Several sets of silverware, tablecloths, napkins, and plates. Lady Buchanan stood and brushed something off her dress. 

“I think I’m going to embroider before bed.” She said. My Mother stood, following her lead. 

“I’ll join you.” She added, following her out of the dining room and into the parlor where she spent most of her time. I slumped in my chair and watched James who was sitting across from me. The servants set five plates on the table and I picked up one. The rim outlined with a rim of silver. 

“This one.” I said. Next was silverware. I picked the one that matched the most, the forks and spoons having small slivers of silver in the handle. The put table cloth sample down next. 

“Do I not get a say in this?” James asked, watching me as I had. 

“If you want.” I said, spreading my hands to show him the many clothes spread across the bare table. The sample plate and fork lying to my right. He peered at the pieces, before selecting one. This went for another ten minutes, looking over menus, curtains, and other things. I yawned, and stood up. 

“Well, I’m going to bed.” I said. “I assume you know where your room is.” I asked. He stood and walked around the end of the table, following me out of the room. 

“Yes. Would you like me to walk you to your room?” He asked. I laughed, 

“I don’t think I’m going to get lost in my own house.” I responded, heading down the North Wing to my room. Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t far from the room my Mother had given James.


	8. Party Preparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter!! Don't forget to comment on what you think (negative feedback appreciated)! <3 <3

James' POV 

The next morning the entire Zima household was running around. Making preparations for the dinner that didn’t seem necessary. I walked down the North corridor, making my way to the West wing since it was calmer then the rest of the house. A maid rushed past me, carrying a large box. I swiftly moved out of her way, not wanting to be decapitated. I continued on my way to the little lounge to find the book I’d left there the night before.


	9. The Dress is Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Short Chapter, sorry!! <3 <3

Natalia's POV 

A maid ran into my room, a big smile on her face. 

“Your dress is here!” She said, setting a large box on my bed. I ran over to it, and gently raised the lid. The maids in my room, went quiet, staring at the beautiful dress. 

“It’s gorgeous My Lady.” One said. I went to the closet and pulled out a stand for it. 

“Quick, put it on the stand so it doesn’t wrinkle.” I said. The maid bustled around, transferring the dress from its box to the stand. They fanned out the skirt and looked it over, making sure that the whole thing was perfect. It really was quite beautiful. The maids couldn’t stop talking about it, no doubt it was going to be the gossip between them for the next few days. I shooed them out of my room, telling them that I didn’t have to get ready until later. They grumbled a little before going back to whispering about it to each other. I opened my closet again and pulled out a white blouse and a navy blue skirt. The bottom embroidered with winter trees. I grabbed my sketchbook which someone had brought up from the garden, and headed back to my spot.


	10. Willow Tree

James' POV 

I didn’t take me long to finish the book that Natalia had been reading the other day. I left it on the table next to her chair and made my way back to my room. I walked around the room, trying to think of something to do. My Father and Lord Zima had gone out on a hunt with several other Lords. My Mother and Lady Zima sitting out in the pavilion again. I walked out onto the small balcony. It looked over the large garden, and from the balcony, I could map out the large maze. I leaned against the rail and felt the soft midsummers breeze. I spotted something moving in the garden and looked up a little. Natalia was sitting under a large willow tree, her short blonde hair falling in her face and she leaned over a pad. I couldn’t help but smile, there was something about her. I pushed the thought aside, not only was this arranged marriage a bad idea, but Natalia hated me. Not to mention, there was someone else. I tucked those thoughts away, trying to not think of the future yet. Letting myself wallow for a minute longer. I watched Natalia for a minute, her hair getting tossed in the breeze. Sometimes, she’d put her pad down, lean against the tree and close her eyes. I pushed away the thoughts of how beautiful she was, I refused to fall. I pulled out another book from the shelf in the room and began reading on the balcony. As the sun began to dip in the hills, a voice rang out in the garden. 

“Lady Natalia!! It’s time for you to get ready for dinner!” Someone yelled. Natalia’s head perked up, and she stood. 

“Coming!!” She yelled, she scooped up her pad and ran towards the house. I turned back into the room, dreading my own dinner preparations.


	11. He's A Lucky Guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep posting short chapters, sorry. I keep needing to switch the POV so I just end the chapter. Comment down below!! <3 <3

Natalia's POV 

I ran back into the house, having spent most of the day outside drawing. I had avoided all the dinner preparations until now. I ran up the stairs and entered my room, a couple of maids were already in my room. They closed the door behind me and turned the lock. Another made pulled the curtains shut, letting me have complete privacy. One maid pulled a white corset out of my closet. I pulled off my shirt and skirt, wearing only my underclothes. They pulled the corset around my stomach and pulled the laces tight. I sucked in my stomach a little even though it wasn’t necessary. The only reason I wore one was because they were nice. They grabbed the dress from the stand and brought it over to me, lifting the heavy fabric over my head. The dresses neckline floated on my shoulder. It showed a little more shoulder than was customary. The dress had no sleeves and a big skirt. The navy fabric fell all the way to the floor, dragging a little on the floor. The neckline was adorned with intricate white lace, as was the hem. The lacy fabric pulled up and down in waves and pulled up with navy ribbons matching the dress. A maid pulled the back of the dress closed, buttoning the buttons and concealing them with a flap of fabric. I stared in the floor length mirror, as did all the maids, buzzing with excitement. I sat in a chair in front of the mirror and pulled out a hair brush. I began to brush my hair and many of the maids left. A few stayed behind, and one plucked the brush from my hand. 

“Let me, My Lady.” She insisted. She began brushing my hair again, the soft waves falling into my face. 

“Thank you.” I said. Sometimes the maids acted more like my mother than my real Mother. Another maid put her hand on my shoulder, 

“Lord Buchanan is a lucky man.” She said. I gulped, still not sure how to respond to a statement that I didn’t believe. I decided to stay silent and waited in my room until another servant came to get me for the dinner.


	12. It's Official

Natalia's POV 

I made my way out of my room, the dress dragging a little behind me. I’d put on a simple pair of white flats. They laced up my ankle in an elegant way that I felt matched the dress. The servant asked my to wait at the top of the stair, wanting to announce my arrival. I heard footsteps behind me and turned. James was coming down the hall behind me. He was wearing a nice dress suit. A navy lapel was in his pocket, matching the color of my dress. He looked me up and down. 

“You look nice.” I said, breaking the awkward air that was between us. I blushed a little and willed myself not to turn pink. He smiled and looked me over one more time. 

“And you look stunning.” He said. I blushed more and turned away from him. 

“Thank you.” I said. 

“Oh, I forgot something.” He said. I turned around and he pulled a little box from his pocket. He opened the box, not even bothering to get down on one knee. The ring inside was stunning. A silver band adorned with white diamonds, outlined with dark green gems. 

“Oh.” I said, taken by surprise. “Thank you.” He slipped the ring out of the box and put it onto my finger 

“My Father and yours picked them out, they felt it appropriate that I gave it to you.” He said, straightening. “Since it’s already pretty official.” He added. I nodded and the annoncer came to appeared at the top of the stairs. 

“The guests are gathered.” He said, turning back to face them. “I am happy to announce the engagement of Lady Natalia of the Zima family to Lord James of the Buchanan family.” The guest clapped and cheered and James offered me his arm. I took it and began my descent down the stairs.


	13. What language is that?

James' POV 

I’d imagined that proposing would be a little more magical than it was. In my head, I got down on one knee, and the girls hands flew up to her mouth. I would smile, tell her how much I love her, then she would laugh, and say yes. We’d then hug, I’d put the ring on her finger, and it’d be the most magical day in my life. That’s not really now it went, I thought as we made our way down the stairs. I smiled and looked as happy as I could. When we got to the bottom of the stair, the guests seemed to collapse around us. Smiling, waving, and waiting to congratulate us. An older lady pushed forward and Natalia let go of my arm. 

“Дорогой, это было слишком долго.” She said, I frowned. What language was she speaking? I was more surprised when Natalia spoke the same language. 

“Да, бабушка.” Natalia responded. The woman let go of her hands and Natalia took my arm again. 

“Who was that?” I asked. 

“My Grandmother.” She responded, looking around the room. We began to make our way to the dinning hall. 

“What language does she speak?” I asked. 

“Russian. I stayed with her in Russia when I was little before she moved here.” She said, not participating in our conversation. We sat down at the table and a toast was made. A light dinner was served and we were ushered into the ballroom. Natalia was swept away in a crowd of Ladies, and I was left to find someone else to talk to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pardon my translation. It may or may not be accurate. I blame google translate. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3 <3


	14. How could I Forget?

Natalia's POV 

A group of Ladies took me off to the side, showering me in compliments on my dress and asking me if they could see my ring. I showed them, acting like a wooed school girl. We turned and scoped out the crowd, several of the Ladies seeing which unmarried Lords had showed up. They kept commenting on James, telling me how lucky I was, now lucky he was. I didn’t feel lucky. The orchestra had started up a tune and we broke up, looking for a partner to dance with. I grabbed a wine off a tray as it passed by me. I sipped it carefully, swishing it around with my tongue before swallowing. I looked around for James, seeing him conversing with a group of would-be suitors. 

“Why’d Mother invite them?” I whispered to myself. My Grandmother appeared behind me, scaring me nearly out of my wits. 

“Why not?” She said, speaking English. 

“I can think of many reasons.” I said. “Why didn’t you speak English earlier?” I asked. My Grandmother spoke both Russian and English flawlessly, as did I. 

“Just making sure you still remember your first language.” She answered. I nodded. 

“How could I forget.” I muttered, staring out into space. 

“Well, I don’t see why you’re so sad to leave here. I’d be happy to get away from your parents.” She said, watching me the whole time. 

“Trust me, they’re not why I want to stay.” I responded, drawing myself back to reality. Grandmother smiled. It was a sad smile, almost as if she felt my own pain. 

“You’ll do just fine.” She said, then switching to Russian. “Удачи” 

“Спасибо.” I said, and I returned back to the party.


	15. Happens to the Best of Us

James' POV 

I made my way over to a group of gentlemen hanging in a corner of the room. They appeared to near my age, and a couple of them perked up when they saw me coming their way. 

“There’s the lucky boy now!” One of them said, stepping forward. He clasped my hand and patted my back, inviting me to converse with them. 

“Nice to meet you.” I said, unsure of how to respond to such a welcome. 

“We just want to know how you did it.” The Gentleman said. 

“How I did what?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“How did you end up with Lady Natalia?” He asked. 

“I didn’t do much, my parents arranged it.” I said slowly, trying to figure out which way the conversation was going. 

“Wow. That easy, huh.” He said. “Did you at least get stuck in the maze?” He questioned. I laughed a little, hoping it didn’t sound strained. 

“Yeah, for an hour or so.” I responded. He chuckled. 

"Yeah, it’s happened to all of us. You become enthralled with the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen, she takes you into a maze, only the two of you. Then she disappears.” He said, making a motion with his hands. “Poof!” He said, laughing. I turned and looked at Natalia, she had a glass of wine in her hand and was sipping it. I glanced over at the gentlemen, who were also casting glances in her direction. They were looking her up and down in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. A need to defend her arose, and I realized there was nothing to defend her from. The music started up and I looked over at the gentlemen. 

“I’m sorry, but I have a fiance to dance with.” I said, smiling. I could feel their hot jealous stares behind me as I left to find Natalia.


	16. Not some Doll

Natalia's POV 

I set my finished glass of wine on a tray. Even though I had tried to disappear into the crowd, I could still feel the hot eyes of the people around me. I grabbed another glass, this one for show rather than for drinking. People tended to be less inclined to talk to people when they have a drink in their hand. I stared off into the crowd, watching my mother and father dance as if it was a party for their own engagement. I hadn’t spoken to them yet, in fact, I haven’t seen them. I raised the glass to my mouth and pretended to drink a little, all the while keeping my mouth shut. James appeared from the crowd, making his way towards me. I turned my back a little, pretending not to have noticed him coming my way. He stood next to me, and I brought the glass away from my mouth. 

“I met your friends.” He said. I laughed a little, casting my gaze over to the group of would-be suitors. 

“Yes, I see you have.” I responded, looking off again. 

“I didn’t realize leaving people in a maze was such a trend.” He joked. I laughed a little more. I gestured with my glass to one of them. 

“Jake. Green lapel.” I said. “He’s my high score.” 

“High score?” James questioned. 

“He spent 3 hours in the maze. Servants tried to find him but he kept getting himself more lost.” I joked. 

“Well, I’m glad I had the sense to stay in one place.” He responded. 

“Perverts.” I muttered, putting my glass onto a tray as they passed me by. James gave me a questioning look before moving around in front of me. 

“Dance?” He asked. 

“Why not.” I said, taking his outstretched hand. He lead me to the dance floor and we began to dance. I was glad that I’d chosen to wear flats. Dancing was much more difficult in heels. 

“So…” He started, looking over my shoulder while talking to me. 

“So?” I asked when he didn’t finish his thought. 

“Nothing.” He said. He pulled me closer to him and spun me around. My dress fanned out in the spin and he brought me back closer to him and we continued dancing. People were beginning to look now, watching the engaged couple dance together. “You know how to dance.” He finally said. 

“Of course I know how to dance.” I said. “I took ballet lessons as a child and progressed through the whole program.” 

“That’s quite the talent.” He said. 

“I have many.” I responded. The music ended, and people clapped. James led me off to the side and back into the crowd where more people congratulated me. James kept me close, which I found strange. I looked up and realized that his eyes kept flickering to one side of the room. I looked back, and noticed he kept casting looks over at my old suitors. Their faces twisted with jealousy. I looked back up at James, who was looking a bit too happy. I let go of his arm and excused myself. I ran into his parents who congratulated me even though they arranged it. I was almost to the door when James caught up with me. 

“What’s wrong? You disappeared.” He said, smiling. 

“I’m sorry James, but I’m not some pretty doll you can parade around with and make everyone jealous.” I said, my anger and frustration bubbling up. 

“Why would you think that?” He asked, then he cast another glance in their direction. 

“Exactly. If you see my parents tell them I’m not feeling well.” I stated, before gathering my skirt and leaving the party.


	17. Just a Little Jealous

James' POV 

I stared at her back as she left, the door swinging shut behind her. Her words bounced around in my head. I hadn’t realized that I was making everyone jealous, though it was a perk. I joined the party again and found her parents. 

“Natalia isn’t feeling well.” I explained when they didn’t ask where she was. 

“Oh, Okay.” Her Father said. I raised an eyebrow. 

“Are you not going to make sure she’s okay?” I asked. 

“No! She’ll be fine. She’s a tough girl.” Her Mother slurred, a little drunk. I frowned. 

“Are you sure?” I countered. 

“Yes. She was fine when we left her to live with her Grandmother for a while. She’ll be fine now.” Her Father stated. He grabbed his wife’s arm and took her to the dance floor. I frowned again, and began to make my way back to another group of gentlemen before I turned and left to find Natalia.


	18. Love you too

Natalia's POV 

I left the party, but didn’t go far. I went out onto the patio. It was raised a little from the ground, vines coming up to reach the railings. 

“Guten Tag.” A voice said behind me. I turned and smiled. It was Matthew, a distant cousin, but a good friend. 

“That’s German Matthew.” I pointed out. He put a hand to his chin and pretended to think for a moment. 

“They all sound the same to me.” He pointed out. I laughed and he moved closer. “Rough night?” He asked, his voice changing from joking to concerned. 

“Yeah.” I said. “I just…” I started. I looked over at Matthew and he gave me a look of encouragement. “I don’t think I’m ready for this.” I confessed. Matthew nodded. 

“Is anyone?” He asked. I looked at him and gave him a warm look. We leaned against the railing together. 

“I don’t know. When do you plan on settling down?” I asked. 

“When I find the right girl.” He answered. 

“What happened to us traveling the world?” I asked, looking off into the landscape. Matthew looked up into the stars. 

“Life happened.” He stated. I leaned closer to him, desiring to feel love from someone tonight. 

“I guess we were a bit too late.” I said. 

“Well, maybe, if you're lucky, when your married you can come travel with me.” He said. I laughed again. 

“Tell me about John.” I said. Matthew smiled. 

“He was the bestest friends anyone could even have.” He said. He looked down at me. “You guys really were identical.” He whispered. He kissed the top of my head. 

“Thank you.” I said, smiling at him. He was like a brother to me, and being friends with my brother made him as close as family. Maybe even closer. 

“I’m going to join the party.” He said. “There are plenty of lovely ladies that need to meet my acquaintance.” I laughed again. “Love you.” He said, I brought a hand to my mouth, trying to stifle another laugh. It was a joke between us, he’d say I love you, I’d say it back. Even though it was a joke, it was refreshing hear words of endearment. 

“Love you too.” He let go of my hand and walked off back inside, resuming the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you guys think of Lord Matthew bellow!! <3 <3


	19. How close?

James' POV 

I paused outside the balcony when I heard voices. 

“You guys really were identical” an unfamiliar voice said. I peeked around the corner and saw Natalia standing next to a young man. 

“Thank you.” She said. I backed up a little, trying to connect the dots of who he was. I’d never seen him before, and if I’d met him already, he was pretty forgettable. 

“I’m going to join the party.” The man said. I back up more, anticipating him rounding the corner any second, when he didn’t I stepped forward. 

“Love you.” He called. She laughed. My face grew hot. I wanted to make her laugh. I swatted my feelings down. I was not jealous. 

“Love you too.” She called. He rounded the corner, straightening his coat before making his way back to the ballroom. I walked to the balcony once he had left. Natalia stood facing out into the yard, her head cocked back to look at the stars. 

“Who was that?” I asked. She didn’t turn around, but lowered her head. 

“Matthew Vanet.” She said. 

“A suitor?” I asked, wondering why if she was so close to one of her suitors why she wasn’t married. The words ‘I Love You’ echoed in my mind. 

“A friend.” She responded, turning towards me. She leaned on the railing. I searched her face, but she kept it blank. 

“A close friend?” I probed still. She frowned. 

“Close enough.” She snapped. 

“How close.” I questioned. She frowned again and didn’t respond. I ground my teeth together. “How. Close.” I asked again. 

“None of your business.” She sneered. 

“It’s plenty of my business. We’re going to be married, I mind as well know if you’re already involved with someone else.” I growled. 

“If you really want to know, go butter up my Mother and ask her.” She snapped before stomping out to some unknown location. I made my way back to the ballroom, my temper simmering on the surface. I sat at one of the tables and watched the people dance around me. Lady Zima came and sat down, Lord Zima left to go talk to a couple of gentlemen hovering on the edge of the dance floor. I found out Matthew Vanet in the crowd and pointed to him. 

“Who’s that?” I asked her. She put her glass down, no buttering up needed due to how drunk she was getting. 

“Matthew Vanet.” She said. “My sister had him with some lowly fool and insisted on taking him in once she was married.” Her brow creased as she watched him dance with a young lady. 

“I take it you don’t like him.” I ventured. 

“I didn’t use to. He was a…..” She choked a little. “He was a good friend to Johnny.” I brought my hand up to my mouth and tilted my head a little. 

“Johnny?” I asked. She gaze became clouded and tears began to form in the corners of her eyes. She swallowed several times before speaking. 

“Johnny. My blessed Johnny.” She mumbled, staring at the table cloth. She looked up at me, her gaze haunted. “Not the right story for now.” She said. She got up from the table and joined her husband. I sat at the table and rubbed my face. I’d never heard of a Johnny before. I got up and felt the need to go to the bathroom. I stopped myself when I realized that Lord and Lady Zima had barely spoken to their daughter since we had shown up. And not once had she been described as being “blessed” in all the times that they’d talked about her. In fact, when he had asked about this girl he was going to marry, they were unable to give specifics. There was definitely something wrong with this family.


	20. Music 'Till Morning

Natalia's POV 

I walked up the stairs and into my bedroom. I sat on my bed for a while, staring off into space. The music from downstairs floating up, I looked over at my violin case that sat in the corner of my room. The music began to die down and the party ended. I watched the guests leave one by one, heading back to their carriages and riding off into the night. I pulled out my violin, and began to play, my own sad tortured music filling the halls. It was late and I changed into a white nightgown. I sat in my room and played, letting my mind travel to anywhere but here. Suddenly a knock rang out. I made my way to the door and threw it open. 

“What do you want now.” I asked, glaring down at James. 

“Can you stop with all that music.” He said. I glared at him some more. 

“No.” I stated. 

“Did you not get enough from the party? Oh, wait. You left the party seven million times.” He snapped. Large bags were beginning to show up under his eyes, but I was not in the mood to humor him. 

“Nope. Apparently not.” I said. “I didn’t see you hanging around the party the whole time.” 

“At least I didn’t run away with some random guy.” He muttered under his breath as he turned away from the door. 

“Excuse me. He’s my cousin wise one, so back off.” I snapped. He looked at me with slight surprise in his face. 

“Just quit it.” He asked on final time. 

“I’ll do what I please.” I said and shut the door in his face. I went and picked up my violin and struck a note. I began to play Mazurka in A Minor by Chopin. The song floated around the room, but I soon begun to feel bored. I plucked out random notes, creating my own tune. A knock rang out from the door again. Leaving the violin in hand, I marched over to the door. 

“What is it you want now.” I snapped. James still had a startled look on his face. He wiped his hand over his face, exhausted. 

“I was just going to say that I’m sorry for snapping at you. Neither of us is happy about this, you can do whatever you please with whoever you please.” He said. I sighed. 

“Whatever James. I might not like this marriage, but I do plan on having a real marriage.” I said. Implying that I was not going to go run off with someone while we are married. 

“Now can you please stop playing that music.” He asked. 

“No.” I said. “I find it calming.” 

“Well, I find it annoying.” He said. 

“Fine.” I said. Closing the door in his face.


	21. *Authors Note*

Hey guys. So, I posted this story a lot at the same time, and I know that there are some people that aren't going to like it. But, I've got a lot of negative feedback on my writing before and I've worked very hard on this piece. If you don't mind, if you could please comment on my work (either good or bad) so I can keep progressing, I would really appreciate. I love you guys!! <3 <3

\- Hannah Merphy


	22. Caroline...

James' POV 

I walked back to my room, a little content that I got her to stop playing music. When I first heard the violin, I swore I was hallucinating. The haunting melody oozed through the walls and I found myself unable to sleep. After I’d snapped at her for running away with some guy, a guy that turned out to be her cousin, I felt bad. Mostly because I was accusing her of something I’d done already. I thought back to her comment to our marriage, how she planned to have a real marriage. I didn’t. I expected to keep up my own relationship, regardless of what Natalia thought. I found myself drifting back, thinking of what I was going to tell Caroline. That I was getting married? She probably won’t care, but I had a hard time convincing myself that I didn’t care either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think of Caroline!!


	23. I Refuse to Cry

Natalia's POV 

I stayed up almost all night. Sketching, humming, dancing, anything I could think of. My mind stayed buzzing all night. Finally I collapsed onto my bed, having exhausted every idea I had. I didn’t bother to dress before going down to breakfast. Staying in my white nightgown that floated above my ankles. I trudged down to the dining hall and plopped down in my chair. I picked at the food that the servants brought before I realized someone was staring at me. I looked up and James eyes flitted away. I glared at him. I didn’t have the patience for him at the moment. My mother gave me a look and I pretended not to know why, waiting for her to be the first one to speak up. 

“Um. Honey…” She stared. I fiddled with my food some more and continued to ignore her. “Honey…..” She started again, I said nothing. “Natalia.” She finally said, her voice turning solid. 

“Yes, Mother.” I said, drawing out my voice. 

“Go change.” She said. I looked down as if I’d realized what I was wearing. I didn’t move. She glared at me and I realized I’d pushed her to the edge of the cliff. Lady Buchanan didn’t look up from her food. I got up, my chair scraping against the floor. I turned on my heel, and marched my way up to my room. I didn’t come back down, instead laying on my bed reading. A while later, my door swung open. A couple of sullen looking maids walked in, followed by my mother. 

“What are you doing?” I asked. The maid threw open my closet and one began to take last nights dress off the stand. 

“We’re packing your things.” She said. I choked on the saliva in my throat. 

“Why?” I asked, afraid of the answer that was coming. My mother turned her back to me, preparing to leave the room. 

“We’ve decided that you will go an live with the Buchanans until the wedding. Then you and James will move into one of their other Estates.” She said. I froze, the sound of an iron gate slamming closed, the last bits of my freedom slipping through the cracks. I sat on my bed and changed into a cream colored blouse with a full emerald skirt. I sat on my bed and watched as servants sifted through my things. Folding up clothes and setting them into large trunks. I watched them, making no comments, my mind folding back into itself. I tried to tell myself that it would be fine, but I couldn’t help but feel that I had swallowed a rock. Soon my room was bare, looking like one of the sullen guest rooms rather than my own. I refused to cry, crying was weakness, and I refused to be weak.


	24. Just a Carriage Ride Away

James' POV 

I watched as the servants loaded several trunks onto the bed of a wagon. Natalia's’ things had been boxed away not long after breakfast. When she’d trudged into the dining hall in only a nightgown, I was surprised to say the least. It seemed that Natalia had a total disregard to traditional rules. Playing music to the early hours, walking around in a nightgown, leaving people in mazes. Her mother had been fuming when she left, and after a while had servants clear her food. I was interesting, watching the two of them interact. It was often like watching a couple of strangers talk to each other, keeping from biting the others head off. Lady Zima seemed to give no regard to her daughter, I’d only seen them talk a few time. Neither of those times had been overly civil. Lady Zima had suggested that Natalia came and live with us until the wedding and my mother agreed. I’d kept my mouth shut, not wanting to make the situation worse by opposing them. A servant soon brought the carriage around and loaded our few bags into the back. My father helped Mother into the carriage and I realized how sparse he’d been sense we got there. Curious. He got into the carriage and I moved to follow him when my mother spoke up. 

“Darling, why don’t you go grab Lady Natalia?” She asked, giving my a pointed look. I sighed and walked back up to the house when the door opened. Natalia came out, holding a small bag that held some of her more personal items. A servant ran up and grabbed it from her and she nodded her head. 

“Are you ready?” I asked. She nodded and gave one last glance to her house. “You say goodbye to your Mother?” I asked, her silence concerning me. 

“Like she deserves it.” She said, before getting into the carriage herself. My Mother shot a glare at me for not helping her, and once Natalia had settled in, I sat. I made sure to give her as much room as possible on our bench. My Mother shot her a smile to her which was rewarded by a small smile from Natalia. The carriage rocked when the driver got in and soon, we were watching the rolling countryside.


	25. That'll be all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment!! <3 <3

Natalia's POV 

I stared outside, Lady Buchanan had tried to talk in the beginning, but I wasn’t up for small talk. The lush landscape rolled past, turning from older estates to more industrial ones. Small towns began to appear, the carriage bumping over the cobblestones. Eventually we rolled up in front of a large estate. The whole building shined like a diamond, the sun reflecting off of the white stone. A servant opened the door and Lord Buchanan exited, putting his hand out to help Lady Buchanan. I slid across the bench, getting ready to leave. James got out of the carriage and offered his hand to me. I grabbed onto the door and helped myself out, glowering at him. Lord and Lady Buchanan went inside and I gathered my skirt in my hands, climbing the large stairs. The door swung open and we were greeted by an older looking gentlemen. 

“Welcome Lady Zima.” He said, bowing low when I entered. I tried not to be in awe. A large crystal chandelier hung in the foyer, scattering rainbows around the room. 

“Thank you.” I said. A young women came in carrying the case I’d had when I left my own home. James came up behind me, looking up and around like it’d also been the first time he’d noticed the chandelier. The young lady curseyed and blushed a little. I inwardly sighed. She approached me again and motioned up the large staircase. 

“I’ll show you to your room Lady Zima.” She said. My skin prickled at being called the same title as my mother. It wouldn’t be that way for much longer I reminded myself. That thought didn’t comfort me as much as I desperately hoped it would. She showed my up the stair and to my room. The maids were finishing putting on the sheets when I got there. The maid put my case on the bed and apologised. 

“I’m sorry that we didn’t have much ready for you.” She said. “We weren’t aware that you’d be coming back with Lord Buchanan.” 

“That’s alright.” I sighed. “May I ask what your name is?” I added. The maid looked surprised, border on afraid. 

“Sofie.” She stuttered. I nodded. 

“That’ll be all Sofie.” I said. She curseyed and left the room. I looked around the room. It was pale, cream bed sheets matching the cream walls. My cases had already been brought, stacked in a corner of the room. A door stood opposite of the closet, curious, I pulled it open. I walked into a large lounge looking room. Plus couches and velvet seats were spread out along the room. Another door stood parallel to mine. I didn’t bother looking through it. I plucked a book from the shelf and made my way back to my room, making sure to lock the door behind me.


	26. I Beg Your Pardon?

James' POV 

I heard the door open to the lounge that connected our room, but decided it better to stay in the room for now. I slipped off my coat and hung it on a small hanger attached to the wall. I picked up my small case and called a maid to come and take my suit to have it pressed. I opened my door into the adjacent lounge, pausing a moment to look at the door and think of what laid behind it. I had no intention on sharing my room with Lady Natalia, it was my mother's idea. I picked up some of the writings I had left on my desk, several maps laid strewn across its surface. Important landmarks inked in bold were labeled, inscriptions adorning the side. I rolled the papers up and set them into a folder, tucking it with the others inside the desk before locking it. I made my way back to my room, looking for a book. I heard the door to the lounge swing open, and I peered through my own open door. Natalia exited her room, closing her own door behind her and walked over to a bookshelf. He stood up on her tiptoes and grasped a book from the top shelf. She flipped it open to the first page and began to read it. As she was reading, she slid over and into one of the chairs that adorned the room. I watched her for a moment before I found my own book. I debated for several minutes, arguing with myself in my head. I needed to put the books and papers away, but I didn’t want to confront her. I stood in to the side of the door before convincing myself. I walked into the room, trying to act as if I didn’t know she was there or that I was coming in and out. As I approached my book again, having placed the book back on the shelf, she spoke. 

“That took you quite a long time.” She noted, never looking up from the page. 

“I beg your pardon?” I asked. 

“To find that book and put it away. It had to have a least taken fifteen minutes.” She said, glancing up at me before looking back at the page. Her eyes were cold, her small jabs of humor coming off as more judgemental. 

“Well, it did take a while to find it…” I said, trailing off, unsure of what to even say. 

“You must have stood in the doorway for at least half that time.” She commented. I froze. She glanced at me once again and gave me a cold smile. She was watching me. Waiting to see what I would do if she came and sat in the lounge. She closed the book and walked back into her room. I stood there for a moment, trying to figure out what on earth had happened. I slipped back into my room and closed the door.


	27. Caught in Despair

Natalia's POV 

I performed the same routine day in and day out. Avoiding much contact with the Buchanan Family. I came down for meals and occasionally went outside, but other than that, I sat in my room. I sketched places I’d never seen, read books, and played my violin. A feeling began to creep over me. I began eating less, more and more of my time was spent staring at a wall or ceiling then actually doing anything. One day, I was pulled out of my stupor of thought by a sharp rap on the door. 

“Open.” I said. I picked my head up from my bed to see a maid scuttle into the room. She held a bundle of bed sheets in her hand. 

“I’m here to change your bedsheets My Lady.” She said, her voice quivering a little. I slid off the bed and moved to a chair next to my desk. I said nothing, eyeing the maid a couple times as she stripped the bed and put on new sheets. Once she left, I locked the door and double checked that the accompaining door was also closed tight. I’d hardly seen James, the times I did we didn’t speak. Not since I’d snapped at him in the lounge. He’d been standing there staring at me, and I was in no mood to be spied on. I humored him for a while, pretending I couldn’t see him through the crack in the door. I then snapped at him for taking so long to find and place the book. He looked so confused. Sometimes I watched him from my window. Noting that he would slip into the stables, take a horse, and not come back for several hours. I forced myself outside, to interact with people. Sometimes the dark feeling would creep back, and I tried my hardest to suppress it. Overwhelming waves of sadness overcame in at night. Although I tried my best to still be social, more and more time was being caught up in despair.


	28. Why Don't you Go Somewhere?

James' POV 

Natalia was becoming more and more recluse. Each day I saw her less, maids came back saying that she was sleeping or in what they called a “stupor”. It was not uncommon for maids to go into the room. Natalia would be so focused on something, she simply wouldn’t hear them. I didn’t go to see her. I had more things to worry about, and being snapped at was not at the top of my list of things to do. I spent most of my time riding off to my Caroline. Nonetheless, a seed of worry began to spread, and I brought the matter to my mother. I found her in the parlor, thumbing through a novel. 

“Mother.” I asked, standing in the threshold of the room. She beckoned me in. 

“Yes James?” She asked, a worried look crossing her face. 

“Lady Natalia seems…. unwell.” I said, struggling to think of how to describe her condition. Mother shifted her weight and nodded her head. “She doesn’t eat, she always sleeping…” I continued. My mother placed a hand on my knee, her eyes bright with an idea. 

“Why don’t you two go somewhere?” She suggested.


	29. We're going to Paris!

Natalia's POV 

A sharp knock rang out on the door and I did my best to suppress a groan. 

“Open.” I yelled, muffled by my bedsheets. A couple of maids filed in, followed by James. 

“Get up Natalia. We’re going to Paris.” He said. 

“Paris?” I asked, trying to hide my inward excitement. To be out of this dusty house would be a miracle. James didn’t look too excited. He was wearing a simple looking outfit, with brass buttons instead of his usual gold or copper. The maids slipped open one of my trunks and began to pick through my clothes, folding them into a bag. I sat up and raised my arm to comment on some of the dresses. 

“Just let them pack for you. You can buy more clothes in Paris.” He said. He handed me a ticket made of thick paper. “The train leaves at eleven. Please dress to blend in.” He left the room and I leaned over the maids to try to grab a dress. They shoved a dark grey dress into my hands and I marched to the bathroom, grumbling that I can dress myself. When I exited the bathroom, a platter with breakfast was resting on a freshly made bed. I grabbed a piece of thick bread and began to chew it as I tied up the laces on my dress. The dark grey of the dress made my blonde hair stand out more. My eyes looked more green than blue. The long sleeves draped down near the bottom of the dress, mocking the style lesser off women wore. I wrapped the cord around my waist several times before tying it off. It was made of a light cotton material for which I was grateful. Around eleven, I made my way outside where a smaller carriage waited. My small case was already in the back and I waited for James and his family. Moments later, James and his Mother came out. Lady Buchanan wished us well and waved at us until she was out of sight.


	30. Be a Gentleman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brother inspired this chapter. An old guy called him out when I was carrying heavy boxes into my house after we moved. LOL. <3 <3

James' POV 

The ride to the train station was not long. Natalia kept poking her head around trying to see what was around her. It made me oddly happy to see her happy. I shoved my thoughts away and they began to drift towards Caroline. I’d told her everything, she understood. She also expected our relationship to stay the same. I refrained from telling Natalia of her, not wanting my father or mother to know of Caroline yet. Leaving her to go to Paris was another reason not to go. My Mother insisted and since I had no real reason to say no, she booked tickets. I helped Natalia out of the carriage a few blocks from the station. We grabbed our cases and entered the train station. It was a wide gaping hall, large signs printed where each station was. Each station manned by a booth. Lines of people with tickets waited to have their tickets stamped and get on the train. I directed us to platform 9 and jumped in line behind an older man. The man turned and looked at us before snapping. 

“Young man, why is this young lady holding her case? Be a gentleman and hold it for her.” He snapped. Natalia, who had been looking around lost in thought, smiled at me and handed me her case. It was significantly heavier and my arm dragged down with the weight. The old man huffed in approval before grabbing his ticket and preparing to board. I handed the man in the booth our tickets and announced where we were heading. 

“Two for Paris.” I said. The young man looked over the tickets in approval. 

“Two for Paris.” He repeated. He glanced up at Natalia, who was smiling like a kid in a candy store. “Oh.” He said, leaning his elbow on the counter. “Paris are we. You two have a good time.” He said, his voice sickly sweet. Natalia reached forward and grabbed the tickets, 

“We will.” She said, flashing him her engagement ring. The man demeanor slumped and Natalia marched away tickets in hand.


	31. Another Girl

Natalia's POV 

The train was late. I almost felt bad that I’d turned down that ticket man because I wanted someone to talk to. James had set the cases on the ground at his feet and looked around. It was as if he was looking for someone. Everytime he caught me looking at him his gaze flicked forward. After a few minutes I turned to say something when a shriek pierced the air. A young girl came running forward and lept on James, yelling his name. 

“James!!” She yelled. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. James deepened the kiss and spun her around. Laughing giddily when he set her down. 

“Caroline.” He breathed. I turned away. Heat rose to my cheeks as did my feelings of rage. The train pulled into the station, ignoring James and his girlfriend. “Why are you here?” He asked. 

“I had to see you before you leave.” She said, biting her lip and smiling. I strode onto the train. I handed the ticket man my stub and grabbed my bag, leaving James alone on the station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of this Caroline now?! Comment below!! <3 <3


	32. Shut Down

James' POV 

I said my goodbyes to Caroline, pecking her cheek one more time before turning to the train. I went to grab my bag, to discover that Natalia has vanished. Assuming she was on the train, I boarded as well. Passing the ticket man my stump, he gave me a look before telling me my cart number. I strode to the back of the train until I found the number 7. I tried the knob, only to find it locked. I knocked. No answer. I tried the knob again. I slapped my hand onto the door. 

“Natalia, open this door.” I said sternly, trying not to embarrass myself. I went back to the ticket man to ask for a key, which he obliged. I slipped the key into the door and pulled the door open only to stumble on Natalia bag she had left in the doorway. I closed the door and looked around. It was a modest train car, a fold out bed could be made by combining the two benches. Natalia sat on one corner, slipping her shoes off. “Did you not hear me knocking on the door?” I asked. Natalia laced up her shoes again. 

“I’m going to the dining car.” She said, and swept out of the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think James deserved to be shut down? Tell me!! Comment!! <3 <3


	33. I Speak French too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation may or may not be correct. <3 <3

Natalia's POV 

The want to punch James was overwhelming. I cursed in Russian under my breath as I swept into the dining car. I sat in one of the plush seats and grabbed a menu, ordering a chicken and white wine. I sipped the wine as I waited for my food, telling the waiter to put it on James’ tab. A man came over and slid into the seat across from me. 

“So, where are you headed?” He asked. I rolled my eyes inwardly, this train was going to one stop. We’re all going to the same place. 

“Paris.” I said. I switched my hand holding my glass from my right to my left, the engagement ring still sat there. It didn’t take long for him to get the message. I ate my food and stared out the window for a while before James slid into the seat across from me. 

“So what are we having?” He asked. I didn’t answer. The remains of chicken still littered the plate in front of me. Per usual, the waiter came back, and I switched to French. 

“Je vais avoir un peu de gâteau au chocolat s'il vous plaît.” I said. The waiter nodded and rushed off. James was silent. Soon, a slice of chocolate cake was brought to me. 

“Rien d'autre?” He asked. I shook my head 

“Il peut vouloir quelque chose, mais je suis fait.” I responded. He nodded and walked away. 

“So you speak French, huh.” He said. 

“Oui.” I snapped. He rolled his eyes. 

“How many languages do you speak?” 

“Multis.” I said back, switching from French to Latin. Finally shutting him up, I finished my cake and headed back to our compartment.


	34. Nothing to Talk About

James' POV 

When I returned from the dining car later that afternoon, Natalia had spread out on one bench, book in hand. 

“Are we going to talk about this?” I asked. 

“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.” She responded. 

“You’ve been hostile all day. You wouldn’t even talk to me in english earlier!” I argued. 

“Maybe, that’s because I have nothing to say to you.” She retorted. 

“I think you do.” I insisted. 

“Well maybe, if you didn’t run around kissing girls in front of your fiance, we wouldn’t have a problem.” She growled. 

“Caroline is not some random girl, and I fully expect our relationship to continue.” I snapped. 

“Exactly!” She said, getting up and throwing her hands in the air. “I can’t be in a marriage that is unfaithful!” Her voice rose in pitch. 

“Well, you were getting all comfy with Matthew..” I started 

“He’s my cousin!” She yelled. I went silent, letting her temper cool for a few minutes. She plopped back down onto the bench and shoved the book back into her bag. She headed for the door when I grabbed her arm. 

“Natalia.” I said. She yanked her arm out of my grasp. I looked at her, she looked angry, hurt, frustrated. In that moment I didn’t know what to do. So I kissed her.


	35. Not the Best Apology

Natalia's POV 

One moment I was getting ready to leave the car, the next James was looking at me. He actually looked at me, saw all my hurt feelings. Then he kissed me. I froze, unsure what to do, but wanting to get lost in that kiss. After a moment, I pushed him away. My anger was gone, but my frustration lingered. 

"You can’t have both of us.” I said. He looked embarrassed for a moment, then pushed ahead of me and left the cart.


	36. Potential Revenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter again!! <3 <3

Natalia's POV 

Over the ride, my feeling of resentment continued. The scene of James and Caroline repeating in my mind. The way he looked at her. I tried to push away the thoughts, to lock up my feelings. All I could think about was how much I wanted someone to look at me like that. In the end, I felt betrayed. From that betrayal, came a spark of potential revenge.


	37. Dinner?

James' POV 

We arrived in Paris in the early morning. I slept on the floor, still feeling uncomfortable with the prospect of sharing a bed. My back was stiff as I hauled our bags into a cart and gave directions to the hotel. Natalia still said little to be, and my own feelings started to push up. A desire to please her was rising, to be in good favors again. I shoved them down, unwilling to recognize that this wasn’t such a bad idea after all. The hotel was 5-stars and I left Natalia in the lobby while I got our reservation ready. I spoke to the man behind the counter for a minute, then turned to find Natalia talking to another gentleman. 

“vous êtes trop gentil” She said. 

“non toi.” He responded. Natalia blushed a little bit and I glanced at her hand. No engagement ring in sight. I decided to eavesdrop a little. “il me fera plaisir de vous emmener dîner.” He said again. Natalia’s blush increased. I picked up a few words he spoke. My pleasure, dinner, something else. Natalia smiled and started talking so fast I could only pick up the last portions of what she said. 

“Je ne pense pas que ce serait une bonne idée. Je rencontre une famille ce soir. J'adorerais, mais non.” She said. The man smiled and they parted ways. As Natalia walked over to me, I ran through the brief lessons of French I received as a child. Love, family, dinner. I was immediately accosted by feeling of jealousy. Natalia was still blushing when she made it towards me. I grabbed her elbow and steered her towards the elevator. She didn’t pull away until we made it to our room. As I closed the door behind us, she spun on me.


	38. Not How This Works

Natalia's POV 

“What is your problem?” I said, whirling on him. I didn’t expect him to know French, but he had no right to be mad at me for speaking a different language. 

“You were flirting with that complete stranger!” He said, exasperated. 

“So?” I retorted, James’ hypocrisy made me sick. 

“You can’t do that! Run off and flirt with whoever fits your fancy!” He yelled. 

“Oh! But you can run off and kiss any girl who eyes you for more than the second you’re worth!” I yelled back. I wasn’t sure if I was referring to myself or Caroline, that was for him to decide. 

“Yes!” He said. I was taken aback. 

“No!” I screeched. “That’s not how this works! If you can run off with some other girl I’m going to dinner with him!” I grabbed my skirts and headed towards the large bathroom. 

“No you aren’t!” He snapped. 

“Yes, I am.” I yelled, slamming the door of the bathroom behind me.


	39. Guilty

James' POV 

I stared at the bathroom door for a while. A small pang of guilt sprung from the back of my mind. I sat down on the bed and slipped my shoes off. I rubbed my feet and heard the water begin to run in the bathroom. I ran a hand through my hair, that small bit of guilt eating me alive.


	40. Invisible Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such short chapters, haven't had a lot of time. <3 <3

Natalia's POV 

I sat in the hot water of the bathtub, till it grew cold. I pulled out a set of curlers and wrapped my hair in them. I grabbed a thick robe from the closet and wrapped myself in it. I walked out of the bathroom and threw open the closet. James made no comment and I selected a dress from my selection. I returned back to the bathroom, and pulled on the dress. It was black with small accents of blue making it change color. Instead of a real neckline it wrapped around my neck in an x. I slipped the dress on and exited the bathroom again. I felt James’ eyes on me, roaming over my bare shoulders and back. I grabbed a dark blue corset and walked over to the full length mirror. I brought the corset around my chest and tied the ties. Satisfied with it’s look, I grabbed a shawl. I pulled the curlers out of my hair, creating elegant waves that framed my face. James didn’t stop me as I slipped out of the room, having no idea where I was going.


	41. I Care.

James' POV 

Natalia slipped out of the room. I didn’t stop me. I’d been staring at my book for a while, not actually reading anything. I couldn’t contain the thoughts that ran around my head. “Why do I care?” I kept asking myself. A sudden thought came to my mind. I care, because I care. I was immediately confused by the idea, but then began to understand. I cared so much what she did, because I cared about her. This whole time it had been about me. Me and Caroline. I quickly pulled on my coat and set off to find a way to show her that I cared.


	42. I'm Engaged, Back Off

Natalia's POV 

I slipped out of the hotel and hailed carriage. I handed a nickel to the driver, telling them to take me to a diner. He took the nickel and looked me over. 

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing going out alone?” He asked. 

“I’m meeting my fiance.” I fibbed. He nodded his head, as if he understood. He took me to a place near the eiffel tower and I was brought to a small table. It had an excellent view of the city, but I couldn’t help but feel that it would be much better if I had someone to share it with. James’ betrayal still stung, my feelings were not reciprocated. I sighed and twirled a glass of wine in my hand. I ordered a small meal and picked at my plate, spending more time staring off. As always, someone slid into the chair across from me. I was getting tired of people flirting with me. 

“A girl like you didn’t get stood up, did she?” He smiled. I looked him over. He wasn’t even cute. 

“No, this girl likes to eat alone.” I said, trying my hardest not to flirt back. My actions were often misconstrued. 

“Well, now you don’t have to.” He said, smiling again. I was annoyed. I looked around before leaning over to whisper to him. 

“My fiance will be here soon, I don’t think you’ll want to be here when he does.” I said coldly. I smiled at him as his own dropped. He excused himself and I enjoyed the rest of my meal alone.


	43. I'm... sorry

James' POV 

I paced my room, waiting until Natalia came back. I’d decided before even leaving the hotel that when she came back I was going to apologize and offer to start over. It was late now and had been raining for quite some time. I leapt when there was a sudden knock at the door. I yanked the door open and Natalia came in, dripping water all over the carpet. I looked her over, noting the fact she was covered in mud, drenched, and had a cut on her hand. 

“Where were you!?” I asked, thoughts of apologizing put on hold. She smiled at me. 

“Paris.” She said. She grabbed her robe from the chair she’d draped it over before. I grabbed her hand before she made it to the bathroom, trying to be more gentle than I had before. 

“Natalia.” I started. “I’m… I’m sorry. I want to start over.” I said. She looked at me, her firm gaze beginning to soften. She smiled at me again. 

“Of course.” She said. I grinned and she started talked again. “But you have to keep a secret.” I blinked a couple times. 

“Anything.” I quickly responded. She leaned over and whispered in my ear. 

“I didn’t have a dinner date tonight.” She said before smiling and disappearing into the bathroom.


	44. If you knew French

Natalia's POV 

I took another bath, and even when the water went cold, I still felt warm inside. The weight of forgiving James was relieving. A hope that maybe we could be something more was burning bright in me. I dried my hair with a towel and pulled out one of my night gowns. When it exited the bathroom, James was laying on the bed, a book in hand. 

“Finally,” he said. “I thought you were going to be in there forever.” I smirked and took my balled up dress and put it in a bag. I wasn’t going to be wearing it again. I slid into the bed, pulling the comforter around my chin. James came out wearing his nightclothes. He fiddled with one of the buttons before speaking again. “So, you didn’t go out with that guy?” He asked. 

“No.” I said. I smirked again, “If you knew French, you’d know that.” He rolled his eyes at me. He glanced around the room, eyes landing on the couch. 

“I guess I’ll take the couch.” He said, moving forward to grab some blankets. After a moment of hesitation, I spoke. 

“The bed’s big enough for the two of us.” I said. He looked at he, a question in his eyes. “As long as you don’t do anything bad.” He walked over and slid into the bed. I faced away from him, a modest amount of room between the two of us. He blew out the candle and slipped off the small lamp.


	45. Buffet of Languages

Natalia's POV 

When I woke up, I froze. Warmth emanated from my back and I turned my head. James was lying next to me, his back to mine. I couldn’t help but smile before I climbed out of bed and into the bathroom. I combed through my hair and slipped into a white blouse and black skirt. Plain, but suitable. When I opened the door, James was still sleeping so I slipped out the door to grab food. I walked down the stairs and into the lobby, asking the secretary where the dining hall was. It was relatively busy even though it was late, I grabbed two plates and began to pile food onto it. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, everything. I placed out plate on top of the other, preventing the heat from escaping. I grabbed a cup and began to fill it with milk when someone came up behind me. 

“That’s a lot of food for a young lady.” They said. I turned my head and saw the young man behind me. I smiled and grabbed the cup. 

“Yes, I’m bringing some food to my friend upstairs.” I said, this time speaking english. 

“Did you have fun meeting your family last night?” He asked. I froze a moment before remembering that that’s what I told him I was doing last night. I smiled again, trying to seem happy. 

“Yes, it was nice seeing them.” I started, looking around for anyway to exit this conversation. I turned to walk away when he popped up in my path again. 

“You have an interesting accent.” He commented. “Where are you from?” 

“черт побери” I cursed under my breath, he could hear my accent. I smiled again, trying to cover up my curse with a smile. “Oh, I’m from England.” I said, forcing a slight English accent into my words. “Now, I have to be going.” I said, and excused myself. Thank goodness grandma taught me so many languages and accents.


	46. Sick or Guilty?

James' POV 

I woke up right as Natalia slipped back into the room, a couple of plates full of steaming food. 

“For me?” I asked. She grumbled, but smiled a little before setting them down on the table. 

“Стрелять” She said under her breath. 

“Pardon?” I asked. She blushed and stood back up. 

“I forgot utensils.” She said. I got out of bed and opened one of the drawers by the sink, pulling out a worn set of silverware. She smiled and grabbed them from me. I couldn’t help feeling happy that we were finally getting along. A sick and guilty feeling sunk to the bottom of my stomach. What was I going to tell Caroline? I changed into a suit and plopped next to her, eating the food she’d pushed off to the side.


	47. The Gardens Then

Natalia's POV 

We ate in silence. I didn’t know what to say, apparently neither did he. Eventually he turned to me, 

“So what are we going to do today?” He asked. I thought for a minute. 

“How about the gardens today?” I suggested. He nodded. 

“It’s the garden then.” He responded. I grabbed the plate and put it into the small sink, grabbing a few hairpins and pinning my hair up into a bun. Small hairs kept popping out and in the end my hair was filled with pins.


	48. A Second Proposal

James' POV 

The next few days were spent touring Paris, though it was obvious that Natalia had been there before. She spared no moments to rub it in my face that she knew french. The trip lasted for about a week and as it came to a close, I found myself missing the fun times I’d had with Natalia. We sat on the bed on the second to last night when I turned to her. 

“You’ve enjoyed this right?” I asked. Natalia looked up from her book. 

“Of course.” She said smiling at me. 

“Yes, but have you really, really enjoyed it?” I asked again, nervousness creeping into my stomach. Natalia frowned. 

“Yes.” She said, smiling through her own confusion. “Have you?” I hesitated. 

“Yes. Yes I have.” I said. Natalia turned back to her book. I took the book out of her hands and turned so that she could face me. 

“What?” She asked. I ran my fingers over her knuckles and tried to rework my thoughts. 

“I...I’ve really enjoyed spending this time with you Natalia.” I stuttered. 

“So have I.” She frowned again and scanned my face. “Are you okay James?” I blinked a couple of time. 

“Yes. It’s just…” I gulped. “I really think that this can work.” Natalia continued to scan me, looking for something underneath. 

“So do I.” She agreed. I gulped again. 

“Natalia. I know that this wasn’t what you wanted, but will you marry me?”


	49. Red All Over

Natalia's POV 

I was taken aback. He’s asking me to marry him? I recovered and found my tongue. I let out a strained laugh. 

“James, we’re already engaged.” I said. He looked down. 

“I know, I just never asked you.” He muttered. I laughed for real this time, startling James. 

“Of course James!” I said, grinning at him. He smiled back, one of those rare smiles that lit up his whole face. He leaned forward and kissed me. I melted into the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck and burrowing my hands into his dark hair. He cradled my neck with his left hand. When the kiss ended I could feel that my face was red. He wrapped his hands around my waist and we scooted back onto the bed. I grabbed my book and propped my head on his chest. I thought back to the long week we’d had. James’ bought me flowers, taken me to the movies, been a true gentleman. I wasn’t sure when in the week I’d realized I loved him. My face turned red at the thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of Natalia and James' relationship?? Comment below! <3 <3


	50. Quiet Thoughts

James' POV 

Natalia’s face was still pink and all I could think about was that kiss. Her short blonde hair tickles my chin and I marveled at how soft it was and how easily my fingers ran through it. Natalia got up and changed into her night clothes and I got up after her, sliding into the bathroom to change. Natalia had let me sleep on the bed every night and I was always wary not to invade her space. Natalia didn’t take long to fall asleep and I was lost in thought when the bed shifted. Natalia slid a little bit closer to me and I smiled. I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to me, her body fitting into mine. Soon, my thoughts quieted and I fell asleep.


	51. Lost Brother

Natalia's POV 

The trip back home was more enjoyable. James and I were closer than before,his fingers lingered when ever we touched. An overwhelming feeling of love overcame me each time, the feeling of being wanted. I’d pondered about telling him about my past, about John but I wasn’t sure if he was ready. While we sat in the train car I turned to him. 

“Do you know about John?” I asked. He looked up from what he was writing. 

“John?” He asked. I nodded. He thought for a moment. “Johnny?” 

“Yeah, that’s what Mother called him.” I said, my emotions already faltering. 

“No. Who was he?” He asked. I wavered for a moment and James set his pen down. I choked on my words. 

“My brother.” I whispered. James eyebrow rose. 

“You have a brother?” He asked. 

“Had. I had a brother.” I stammered. James immediately turned white and grabbed my hand. 

“I’m sorry.” He said softly. “What happened to him.” I smiled a sad smile, my own memories of John were few. 

“We were twins. Inseparable from birth.” I smiled again and tried to blink away my tears. “He was more talented than I was, my mother called him a prodigy.” a tear ran down my face. “And so, early on, she split us up. John was the pinnacle of our family, the bright star in their lives. Eventually…” I started before choking again. “She sent me away. I went to Russia with my grandmother. I learned languages, every talent imaginable, I became a proper lady. Then we got a call when I was thirteen. My brother… John… died.” I stumbled over my words again, tears flowing down my cheeks. James got up and sat next to me and cradled me while I cried, patiently waiting. “I came back to my parents. They weren’t happy to see me. Even since, I’ve been a shadow of John, the son they loved so much. My mother promised she would never send me a away again, not even for marriage she said.” I gulped. “She lied. She and Father didn’t love me.” With my tears extinguished, I felt an enormous weight lift off my chest. James cradled my longer and pressed a kiss to my head. 

“You didn’t have to tell me that.” He said. 

“I needed to get it out.” I muttered. The rest of the trip I sat in James’ lap while he told me stories of his own family. Of the childhood he had that seemed unattainable. Eventually, my eyelids began to droop and I fell asleep again James.


	52. Not Anymore

James' POV 

The carriage was waiting for us when we stepped off the train station. I helped Natalia into the carriage and we sped home. I opened the door and helped Natalia out. She looked around the familiar landscape and I realized that there was no one around. No servants came to take our things, the butler wasn’t standing by the door. Where was my mother? I grabbed Natalia’s hand and intertwined our fingers. I gave her a comforting smile and led her inside, pushing the door open myself. My mother was sitting in the parlor and I guided Natalia inside. She looked surprised when we entered. 

“Mother, where are all the servants?” I asked. She stuck her chin up and glared at Natalia. 

“I told them not to serve her, she doesn’t deserve it.” She said. 

“What?” I blurted. “Mother, we’re engaged!” 

“Not anymore you're not.” She stated. 

“Why?” I demanded. Natalia let go of my hand and began to back up away from her. 

“Someone’s family spent all their money gambling. The Zima family is a disgrace. Not only did they insult our family, but they insulted our entire class. I will not have my son marry such a low life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLOT TWIST!! Let's talk about it... in the Comments!! Thanks for reading!! <3 <3


	53. Leaving it Behind

Natalia's POV 

The words echoed through the room and I back up into the doorway. I spun my heel and ran from the room. I made my way through the halls I’d memorized. It was my parents all over again, throwing me away like garbage. I ran outside and made my way to the stables, stable-hands scattered as I entered. I grabbed the reins of a horse they had been preparing, slinging myself onto it’s back. 

“Natalia!” I heard James shout. I clattered out of the stables, the horse rearing when James appeared in front of it. “Natalia! We can work this out!” He said, his eyes pleading. 

“I won’t be a burden to you. I won’t split your family like I split mine.” I insisted. James opened his mouth to speak, but I didn’t let him. I urged the horse into a gallop and left the Buchanan Estate behind.


	54. You're Wrong

James' POV 

Dust billowed behind the horse as it ran away. I coughed through the dust, waving my hand in front of my face. Just like that, she was gone. I stormed back into the house, my suit having turned brown with dust. I marched into the parlor. 

“Honey, we’re better without scum like them.” She said, a look of pity shining. 

“You didn’t think that when they were nobles.” I hissed. 

“Well, now they’re not nobles, thus, they are nothing.” She reasoned. 

“You’re wrong.” I said, stomping back out and up the stairs to my room.


	55. Gamble with the Future

Natalia's POV 

I rode into the next town then past it. I made my way to our estate, and paused in front of the door. It already looked abandoned, the door was cracked open and the grounds were less colorful. I walked inside to find all the objects in disarray, I walked up the stairs to my bedroom. The door was open and my things were scattered all over the room. I grabbed my sketch pads from where they were scattered. Many of my clothes were missing and I grabbed what was left and shoved them into a bag. I opened a trunk and realized my violin was missing. I shredded my room looking for it, searching up and down. I took a breath and gulped. I left the estate, my few belongings left in a bag. I regretted leaving my few things in my case at the Buchanan estate, but there was no way I was going back. I got back on the house and rode into town. After inquiring at an inn, I was guided towards a small house at the edge of the town. I knocked on the door and my mother answered. She flung her arms around me and hugged me. 

“Thank goodness you found us! I was afraid you were going to have to marry into that horrible family!” She rejoiced. I frowned. 

“Where’s our money?” I asked. My mother looked guilty. She gulped and guided me to an old couch that was squashed in a room that you could call a parlor. My father was staring off into space, a book in his hands. 

“Your father and I wanted to celebrate, so we went to a party. We may have got a little bit drunk…” She said. 

“And you gambled away our whole life?!” I shouted, exasperated. 

“Now, to be honest, we were doing pretty good in the beginning…” She argued. I stared at her. 

“Our whole life!” I yelled. “Our house, our clothes, our title! You gambled with something that isn’t even yours!” 

“Now Natalia, you must understand…” 

“No you understand, you gambled away my FUTURE!!” I screamed. My father looked up and glared at me, he stood and for the first time in years, he spoke to me. 

“We have done everything we can you for. It’s not our fault.” He said. Tears pricked my eyes. 

“WHAT!” I shouted. “All you ever cared about was John. John is gone! John is dead!” I screamed. “Why can’t you look past your fat noses and see the child that you have left!” My mother’s gaze turned cold. 

“This has nothing to do with John and we have only done what’s best for you.” She stated. 

“Nothing to do with John!! All you ever cared about was John!! You cared so much that you sent your own daughter away so you didn’t have to worry about splitting your time!” My Father grabbed my wrist. 

“John was everything you’re not.” He grounded. I yanked my arm out of him. 

“I know about 20 languages and 3 different instruments! I can draw, I can sow, I can paint, I can write! I spent my life trying to get your attention, but all you ever saw was him and when I finally meet someone who loves me, you rip it away from me!” 

“What would you know of love?” My mother scoffed. I laughed a cold, hard laugh. 

“More than you.” I said. I grabbed my bag off the ground. “You left me alone for thirteen years. You deserve everything you have which now, is nothing.” I swung the door open and took one more look at my pitiful parents. “John and I deserved better.”


	56. Giving Up Too Easily

James' POV 

It didn’t take mother long to find more suitors. Ladies were in our house almost every week. We weren’t on speaking terms, though my Father had tried to talk us into interacting. Lady Lilly was walking with me through the gardens. She grasped my arm as though it was her life support. She pointed to some of the flowers 

“Look Lord James, Lillies!” She exclaimed. She practically dragged me through the garden. I found myself criticizing her. If she was a bit taller, a bit skinnier, a little bit more blond. Grey eyes would look better. The image I was creating was Natalia, and I realized how boring it was without her. I wished I could leave Lady Lilly in the maze, unfortunately, my mother had enough energy to scold me not to. After politely rejecting Lady Lilly, I went to my room. The next day I was called down in a similar fashion. 

“This is my son, James.” My mother said, plastering a grin. I bowed, attempting respect. I did a once over of the Lady. She was indeed taller than the last, brunette this time. Her eyes were striking, a bold green color. She smiled, and I was a bit taken back. She was the most natural of all the women that had come to me. I walked her through the gardens, the moment we were out of sight she let go of my arm. 

“Lady Heather.” She said, curtsying. She walked on her own, expecting me to follow. “Let’s get this straight.” She said, turning to me. “I already have a man that I love, so don’t even try to flirt with me.” I was surprised. 

“Well… okay.” I said, relieved. Her long hair swung in the wind and she brushed her bangs out of her face. 

“You obviously have someone that you’d rather be with.” She stated, looking back at me. 

“How did you know?” I asked, a bit startled. 

“I’m very observant.” She said. 

“So…” I asked. “How did you and your lover meet?” She sighed. 

“I met him at the masked festival” She said, her voice light and airy. “He swept me off my feet. From then, I met him on every day of the festival.” I smiled, hearing that same endearment I felt when I thought of Natalia. 

“I’ll tell my mother this won’t work.” I said. 

“Good.” She said. I smiled. We talked for the rest of the afternoon, knowing that she wasn’t interested made her easy to talk to. I told her about Natalia. Lady Heather smiled, her white teeth flashed. “I would get along with this Natalia.” She laughed. I smiled and look up at the clouds, wondering where she could be. Lady Heather pinched my arm. 

“What?!” I said, rubbing my arm. 

“You’re giving up too easily!” She said. 

“I beg your pardon?” I asked. 

“Why are you sulking around here when the love of your life is out there!?” She asked. I looked at her wide eyed. She laughed. “Matthew would never give up that easily.” She muttered. I stood. 

“You’re right.” I said. Lady Heather smirked with more confidence I’d even see Natalia have. 

“When am I not?” She asked. I guided her back to the house and for the twelfth time, declined the offer. I promised myself to find Natalia the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of Lady Heather? Tell me below!! <3 <3


	57. Paintings

Natalia's POV 

The inn was old and stuffy and the only reason I could afford it was when I sold James’ horse. I felt kind of bad about it but to have a roof over my head made it worth it. I was able to scavenge some art supplies and began to paint, making money off of the paintings. I painted Paris, I painted Russia, I painted the estate. The sold for a good price, enough to live in the inn and avoid my parents.


	58. Need To Find Her

James' POV 

I wore the simple garb I wore when I snuck out to see Caroline. I scoured the roads and streets. I saw a woman in the trading post, her dirty blonde hair pulled into a knot on the back of her head. I approached her, 

“Lady Zima?” I asked. She whipped around. 

“Don’t call me that.” She hissed at me, glaring daggers at me. 

“Where’s Natalia?” I begged her, looking around through the crowd. 

“Where sound I know where that brat is?” She scoffed. “She found me and her Father, yelled at us and left.” I looked her over. She was exceedingly thinner than before, her face more wrinkled than before. 

“You don’t even know where she is?” I asked again. 

“No.” She snapped and disappeared back into the square. I rubbed a hand through my hair, strands falling into my eyes. I saw Caroline in the crowd and ducked down, trying to avoid her. ‘She can help you.’ I thought. ‘I don’t want to talk to her’ I argued back. ‘She might know where Natalia is.’ ‘No.’ ‘Yes.’ I argued back and forth until I gave up. I went over to Caroline, she smiled and flung herself at me. I embraced her for a moment before peeling her off me. 

“Have you seen Natalia?” I asked. Caroline’s smile faded. 

“That’s why your here?” She asked. I nodded. “The girl that was at the train station with you?” 

“Yes, I need to find her.” I pleaded. 

“James, why don’t you come home with me…” She said, grabbing my hand and guiding me over to her house. I pulled my hand away. 

“Caroline. This isn’t going to work. I need to find Natalia.” I said. Caroline looked at me and I watched a shield come up in her eyes. I couldn’t read her emotions anymore. 

“She came and sold a horse a week ago. She headed to the southern part of town.” She muttered. I smiled and pecked a kiss on Caroline’s cheek. 

“Thank you.” I said before heading down the square.


	59. At Least It Provides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapters1 <3 <3

Natalia's POV 

My hands still had bits of paint on them as I delivered one to a merchant in the street. The gardens of my old home peeked around tall hedges. I was sad to see them sold, but happy that they provided a roof and food on the table. I pulled up my skirts and made my way back into the inn, all the while feeling eyes burn into the back of my neck.


	60. I won't if you won't

James' POV 

I walked through Southern Township looking through the crowd for a bright blonde head. Not finding one, I bought some food from a vendor. Wandering the streets, I looked around when a splotch of color caught my eye. I stopped chewing and made my way closer. A piece of canvas was sitting on a cart, a garden painted on it. I looked closer and realized that I knew those flowers, those hedges that I’d stared at for an hour. I smiled and went over to the merchant. 

“Excuse me, where do you get these paintings?” I asked. 

“In Sudan.” He said, not looking up as he ate bread. 

“Please, I need to find the artist…” I pleaded. 

“What’s it to you?” He asked, scanning me. “How much money you got?” I sighed. 

“How about I forget you’re smuggling silver into this area, and you tell me where the artist lives?” He gulped. 

“In the Golden Howler, the Inn down the street. Just don’t tell anyone I have silver.” I nodded to him. Silver was precious, only used by nobles. It was rare for anyone that wasn’t a noble to have it. 

“Thank you.” I said, and headed down the street my heart burning a hole in my chest.


	61. I Look Forward to it

Natalia's POV 

I sat on my bed and pulled out my bag, putting my meager belongings in a lockbox I had managed to purchase. I hid the key in the folds of my skirts and sat on the bed. The frame cracked when I applied my weight to it. I was wearing a grey dress similar to the one I wore on the train, a back petticoat over the skirt and covering my arms. My hair dripped on to my clothes from the shower I took. The Golden Howler didn’t have great water supply and it took eons for the water to heat. I gave up, my hair in desperate need of a wash. I used an old towel to get out some of the water when a knock rang out. 

“Just a minute!” I called, drying my hair a bit more. I went over to the door and threw the bolt loose. The door swung open and James stood there. I froze for a moment, not sure if my own guilt was making myself imagine he was here. He stepped forward and I flung my hands around his neck. His eyes wrapped around my waist and I buried my hands in his hair. More tears began to flow out of my eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” I muttered into his shoulder. He pulled away and looked at me before bending forward. Each kiss was just as magical as the first one, the feeling of being loved still burning in my chest. I leaned into the kiss. 

“I’m sorry too.” He said when we broke apart. 

“How did you find me?” I asked, searching his eyes. 

“I ran into your mother, she didn’t know where you were so I asked Caroline.” He muttered. My gaze hardened at the mention of my mother and an inkling of jealousy came over me at the mention of Caroline. 

“What are we going to do?” I asked, my fingers lacing through his. 

“We’re going to get married.” James said, pulling my gaze back to him. 

“But your Mother…” I said. 

“Can’t do anything about it.” James said confidently. I could help smile and I let out a little laugh. 

“Are you sure?” I asked. James smiled, 

“Of course. I’ll tell my parents tonight and soon, we won’t have to worry about this.” He said, gesturing to the walls around us. He kissed me once more and kissed my knuckles. 

“I have to go…” He said. “I’ll be back tomorrow.” I blushed, 

“I look forward to it.” I said, and watched him leave me again.


	62. Forbidden

James' POV 

I got home and changed into fresh clothes. I found my Mother in the parlor of which she practically never left. 

“Mother.” I said, drawing her gaze from her embroidery to me. “I’m marrying Natalia.” I stated. Her eyes widened. 

“No, you’re not.” She said, her voice shaking. “I forbid it.” 

“I am.” 

“James!” She yelled. Her voice sounded so desperate that I turned back towards her. “You’re going to bring this family down! I refuse you to mingle with such low-lives!” She screeched. 

“I’m going to do it anyways.” I glared, marching upstairs.


	63. How Far Have We Fallen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of the reunion? I had to write it multiple times and even now I'm not sure I like it. <3 <3

Natalia's POV 

The next morning I went out to the market early to buy bread. I grabbed a loaf and turned back to the inn. After unlocking the door I stepped inside my room to find someone sitting on my bed. A women sat on my bed, a thick skirt fanned over the bed, a hood concealing her face. 

“Excuse me, this is my room.” I said cautiously. 

“I know.” The voice said, ringing a familiar bell in my head. 

“Lady Buchanan?” I asked. 

“The one and only.” She rose from the bed and looked at me with cold eyes. 

“What do you want?” 

“Silly girl, how far you’ve fallen.” She taunted. I stayed in place as she circled me. “James will be coming to propose and sweep you away today. That’s not going to happen.” 

“And why not?” I asked. 

“Because you’re not going to be here when he shows up.” She stated. 

“Why?” I asked. 

“Because.” She said, her voice raising. “You’re ripping my family apart just like you ripped your own. I refuse to sit and watch.” She pulled a creme envelope from her sleeve and handed it to me. “There’s enough money in there to get very, very far from here.” 

“No.” I said. 

“No?” She repeated. 

“I won’t.” I stated. 

“Let me tell you what no means. If you don’t, I will make James marry someone else. I will disown him and he will never be apart of this family again.”She glared. I looked at the floor, I couldn’t handle to guilt of breaking him apart. I looked back down at the envelope in my hand.


	64. Not Here

James' POV 

I rode a horse this time, galloping through Southern Township. I gave the reins over to the stable boy and permitted him to take care of it. I made my way into the inn. I made my way up to Natalia's room. I knocked on the door and no one answered. I knocked again and the door slid open, unlocked. I entered, my grin faltering. The room was empty, the small decorations that belonged to Natalia were gone. I ran back down to the innkeeper. 

“Where’s the girl that stayed in 2002?” I asked. He looked at me. 

“Checked out this morning.” He grunted. 

“What?” I gasped. 

“She’s not staying here anymore.” He repeated. I felt the room start to spin and I staggered out of the inn and into the street.


	65. Ticket In Hand

Natalia's POV 

I stood on the platform of the train station, a ticket in my hand. I was going away, just like Lady Buchanan had arranged. She’d even helped my book the ticket. 

“Сука” I muttered. The bell rang and times for the trains was written up on a screen.


	66. Not This Time

James' POV 

I dragged myself through the front door. My mind still spinning. I heard my mother talking to someone and paused to listen. 

“It’s taken care of, she’s on the next train far from here.” She said. I heard another voice mutter something but couldn’t place it. “I gave her enough money to make a good living for a while.” Things began to click in my mind and I ran upstairs. Grabbing the bag I had yet to unpack from our trip to Paris, I ran out the door. Stopping to grab the bag of Natalia’s things that were still in the foyer. My horse still wasn’t in the stall yet and I yanked the reins from the stable hand. Jumping atop the horse, I fastened the cases on and made my way to town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think he's going to make it in time? *hehehe* <3 <3


	67. Coward

Natalia's POV 

I couldn’t help but think how much of a coward I was. I was running away. Again. I looked around one more time and my hair blew in my face as a train blew past. Steam filled the station as another train pulled in. A hissing noise echoing around the station. I couldn’t help reprimanding myself. I’d started so confident, so independent. Now look at me, a sniveling young girl running away from her problems. I gathered my things and began to make my way towards the train. A young man stamped my ticket and moved to let me on the train. My name rang out across the station and I turned. James ran forward, dropping several bags. I stepped down and he swept me off my feet. He smiled, 

“I thought I lost you, didn’t I tell you I was coming back?” He said. 

“Your mother…” I started. 

“Who cares about that ol wind bag.” He said. He kissed me once more and gathered both my things and his. I pulled out the envelope in my pocket, the money his mother gave me inside. 

“What shall we do?” I asked. James smiled at me. 

“Wrong question. Where shall we go?” He asked. I laughed and brought him on the train, paying off the ticket man to let him stay.


	68. Conclusion

As the train puffed out of the station, a young man sat on a bench not far from where Natalia and James had stood. He chewed a cigar and held it in his fingers. He watched the train pull away and stood. He smiled and extinguished it on a small tin ashtray. He pushed a lock of light brown hair from his eyes and exited the station. A woman stood waiting for him. He offered his arm and he and the woman clad in emerald walked away, eyes sparkling in the twilight.


	69. *Final Authors Note*

I really enjoyed writing this and appreciate if you made through the whole thing. When my friend was reading it it went something like this... 

"That's a chapter?' 

"yep." 

"It's like TWO sentences!!" 

"I needed to change the POV..." 

"You can't have chapters that short!" 

"I can do what I want." *snatches away computer* 

Thank you so much for reading all the way through. I appreciate critiques and comments on what you though of my story. 

Thank you again! 

Hannah Murphy <3 <3


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